What is a Handler? - North & Central Florida Pets & Handlers

Putting it simply, Handlers are the hooman who is the caretaker of the pups/pets/critters, keeper of treats, and giver of scritches. In practice it is quite a dynamic role that can be approached many ways, so the definition listed here may not 100% apply to all Handlers or cover all aspects of your relationship.

In the world of kink you can usually boil down roles to Dom, sub, or switch. Handlers are typically a specialized Dominant role, meaning they have authority and control of a scene. As pup/pet/critter play is much more fluid than other kinks as far as protocol (or lack thereof) and “rules”, there is usually a blending of different aspects of other Dominant roles that can come into play. Some Handlers may also be Sirs, Owners, Trainers, Masters, or other Dominant roles in addition to being a Handler in their particular power exchange relationship, so additional rules and items may apply.

Basic Rules Handlers Should ALWAYS Follow:

Respect consent. Do not touch a pup/pet/critter, hug, try to force them to do something, or really any interaction without asking explicit consent. One way to see if a pup/pet/critter wants to interact with you while they’re in headspace is to make eye contact and offer up a toy. Let them come to you to interact with them and they will indicate what, if anything, is appropriate. Don’t take it personally if they don’t want to interact with you, and if they don’t – respect their decision.
Respect collars. Although part of consent, collars must be mentioned here. A collared pup/pet/critter may be owned by another Handler/Dominant, especially if there’s a lock on it. If you’d like to interact with that pup/pet/critter, you are highly encouraged to get their Dominant’s permission (if they have one) first and let the pup/pet/critter or their Dominant indicate what is or isn’t allowed. Don’t be disrespectful to their Dominant and don’t touch any collars, either – they’re not yours.
Be upfront. If you don’t like something, or if they don’t like something, be sure to respect that – it’s part of consent. If you’re not familiar with SCC, RACK, or PRICK, feel free to ask us questions, we’ll be happy to answer them to the best of our abilities.
Don’t collect pups just because they’re there. There are more pups/pets/critters than you can count, and there’s more each day it seems. Although some may be pretty, fun, or giving you attention, remember that there’s meaning in any power exchange relationship, beyond just the casual interactions you may have with pups/pets/critters on a mosh mat. The love, care, and attention between everyone needs to exist in sufficient quantities. With pup/pet/critter play, you can also think of it this way – would you go to the animal shelter and seriously take on the responsibility of adopting any cute animal that looks at you or plays with you?
Stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This is pretty self-explanatory, and if you need clarification please reach out to us and we’ll do our best to help.

Handlers Typically Provide:

Care. This includes comfort and care before, during, and after a pup/pet/critter play scene. This can be as little as making sure they drink fluids while in headspace, avoiding allergens if they have allergies (especially treats for food allergies), taking cool-down periods of low/slow activity so they don’t overexert/overheat, providing emotional support after a scene while the pup/pet/critter is coming out of headspace, or even so far as grooming.
Protection. It is the job of the Handler to assure all scenes and spaces stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual and address the issue and/or stop a scene if necessary. As when playing with a bio-pup or pet, you need to keep an eye out and make sure that they’re okay, too – pups/pets/critters can cut/injure themselves or chip a tooth when playing too hard – and the Handler should direct the scene to avoid this if possible or assure proper care is immediately taken. This even extends to making sure scene space is properly prepared to avoid injury, especially if the pup/pet/critter gets a little rambunctious.
Headspace. When entering or in a scene, the Handler should treat and address the pup/pet/critter as they would the animal – not as a human posing as an animal. There are limitations, of course, but working around those they should see and treat a pup/pet/critter as a pup/pet/critter, plain and simple. Similarly, at the end of a scene when the pup/pet/critter is coming out of headspace, the Handler should provide for them and assure their needs are met while they’re reasserting their hooman selves. Sometimes this is an emotional or sensitive time – be attentive to their needs.
Interaction. Bio-pups and pets get bored when there’s nothing to do, same with pups/pets/critters! Play with them (be gentle though, you don’t want to tug too hard and break one of their teeth). Give them love, attention, scritches, pets, belly rubs, and treats. You can also train them if you’d like. Let them puddle on you and give them cuddles. Treat time with them as you would a bio-dog (or other animal they identify with). Learn their personality and have fun!

What it Boils Down to is This...

The interaction, or even dynamic, between a Handler and a pup/pet/critter can be extremely rewarding and form an intensely emotional bond, even within an existing relationship. You won’t always do everything right, you will mess up, but use it as a learning experience. For me though, there’s nothing that pulls at my heart and makes me want to be a better person than when my pups cuddle up on me and I feel their stress melt away.

Keep an open mind, good luck, and have fun! If you think I’ve missed anything, please Contact Us and let me know…I appreciate constructive feedback, especially as pup/pet play continues to evolve.

– Handler Chris (Founding Member of NCF-PAH)